It's a writer's world
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.
It's a writer's world

Create any piece of writing you wish...
 
HomeHome  Latest imagesLatest images  SearchSearch  RegisterRegister  Log in  

 

 Children of the Elements: Book 2, Children of the Sun ©

Go down 
2 posters
AuthorMessage
PeggySnow
Admin
PeggySnow


Posts : 30
Join date : 2011-03-01
Age : 26
Location : Creeper...

Children of the Elements: Book 2, Children of the Sun © Empty
PostSubject: Children of the Elements: Book 2, Children of the Sun ©   Children of the Elements: Book 2, Children of the Sun © EmptyThu Mar 03, 2011 2:30 pm

Hey guys. This is a book I've been writing for a while, it's actually part of a series. As you can see, there's a "©" on the title, meaning I copyrighted it (okay, not really, but still), which means that if you take it, you could be in some legal trouble. Anyways, enjoy, and feel free to give feedback!

Character Dictionary:
1st page second post

Spoiler:




The Voyage
2
Willow

Thalia sighed. “Are you positive it was in Richburrow?” She asked for a fifth time. She jerked her wrist forward, and the winds picked up around our small boat, and the speed increased a bit.
“I'm sure, Thalia. Stella said the journey would be a rough one. She even--” My voice faltered. It was painful to talk about Stella, my ex-best friend, without tearing up. Where was she? No one knew. Was she evil? No one knew that either. She was either dead, and good, dead and evil, lost and good, or lost and evil. Or, she just doesn't want to be found, for whatever reason . . .
“Stella said what, Willow?”
“Oh. Right. She- she said that the boy'd be easy to recruit, as he'd be a Child of the Sun. His friend, the girl, won't let him leave without a fight. She's protective of him.”
“Is she an Element Child then?”
I shook my head. “She's not. Well, that I know. She could be a lesser one, possibly a Snow Child, or a Light Child. Either way, she wasn't detected, meaning she's most likely not one of us. But--”
“--She could be.” Thalia finished. She paced the deck crossly, as she hated being on board any vessel, despite her being s Storm Child, which I always thought funny. She could do heights, steep drops, fights with demons, spiders, snakes, natural disasters, but get her on a boat, and she'd scream like . . . Well, a girl.
“How much longer?” Thalia asked, rousing me from my thoughts.
“Hmm?”
“I mean, until we land. I'm getting uneasy out here. Can't you make this thing go any faster?” She asked, a sheet of sweat starting to gleam on her pale forehead.
Truthfully, I wasn't sure that I could make the boat go any faster. Pixel, my “pet” butterfly, was looking more like a watery blob than a butterfly. Since the first day I'd formed her, (I wasn't really sure if Pixel was a girl . . . Or, anything, for that matter) she'd never left. I swear she had a mind of her own. But, I knew that wasn't true.
“So, that's a no?” Thalia asked.
“I . . . Er . . . What?” I asked. “Oh. Right, that is a no. I'm at the peak of my strength right now, Thalia. Could you control the winds anymore, perhaps?” I asked thoughtfully. Truthfully, I was almost sure that she could. The only “wind” I felt was a gentle breeze, and certainly not enough to move our little vessel.
“Eh,” Thalia. I knew that controlling the winds was tiring, but at least she could walk! I was gripping the side of the boat, for crying out loud. “Can't you make the boat go faster?”
“Do you want to catch me when I pass out?” I asked crossly. “I've only known about my 'power' for not even a year. You've known that you were a Storm Child since you were four! You're the one with more training. I know that you have more power, so use it!” The thing with Thalia was that I could talk to her like this, without worrying about her getting upset, or angry. Instead, she just sighed.
“I'm not as strong as I portray myself to be.” She said quietly.
“Well, your power's strong than mine. Wolfe might find him by the end of the day, and at this speed, we're not going to arrive there until next week!”
“How much longer?” Thalia repeated. “Can't you like, tell, being on the water and all?” She asked.
“Not really,” I said, irritated. “I'm not Wonder Woman. But, if I had to give a rough estimate, I would say that, at this rate, we'll arrive at Richburrow in a few days, maybe, um, I want to say, seventy-two hours?”
Thalia groaned. “That much longer?” She complained. “Well, maybe I can do something about the wind speed,” she grumbled. “But hold on, it may be a bumpy ride. You all set?” She asked me, cracking her knuckles.
I nodded. “With you controlling the winds, I might just be able to make the water go smoother, making the ride smoother, and quicker.”
Thalia nodded gratefully. Twirling her wrist in a circle, she took a deep breath in. Her wrist still whirling, the winds began to pick up to thunderstorm speed, then gradually to hurricane speed. We began flying through the sea, but as the winds picked up, Thalia began to sweat, and breath heavy, until she was panting. Her knees began to shake, so I eased up on the water's smooth, calm state enough for me to walk over to her, and make sure that she was okay. “Thalia,” I murmured. “You're fine. I can take it from here. It'll probably take us about another hour . . .”
But Thalia didn't budge. I'd seen this happen before, but only with Stella. I looked past her, and into the horizon. I froze. Things were about to get rough. “Thalia,” I said urgently, shouting over the sound of the winds,“you're steering us towards a huge rock.” Nothing. “Thalia!” I shrieked. “We won't make it! You need to steer us in the other direction! I'm too weak from controlling the water! Thalia, please!”
Instead, Thalia groaned, and lurched forward. I caught her, and we both stumbled back, and into the railing. The winds were already decreasing, but by now, I knew it was too late. We were going to crash. “We're going to need to jump.” I murmured to myself, in disbelief. I knew that Thalia wasn't up to it. I also knew that to save us both, it would completely drain my strength, and that I wouldn't be able to control any water for at least twenty-four hours.
“I can do this,” I murmured. Thalia's scrawny body still leaning against me, I clumsily hobbled over the rail, so that I was sitting on it. I hauled Thalia next to me, where she slumped against my side.
Using the last of my strength, I made a small tunnel for us to jump through. Without giving the ship a second glance, I slipped off of the rail, dragging Thalia behind me, and into the tunnel.

We landed hard, and I gasped in pain as we splashed into the water. In case you've never experienced jumping into the water from a somewhat high distance, it feels like leaping into liquid concrete.
As soon as we'd submerged, I formed a protective bubble around us, and began slowly wading us through the water, with absolutely no way of knowing where to go. By now, Thalia was coming to, and she began groaning even more, and rubbing her head. “D- . . . Did I do it?” She gasped quietly. “Are we- did we-” She looked around, blinking her eyes hard, and groaning. “What happened?”
“You . . . Something happened. I tried to get you to come to when you were controlling the winds, but you wouldn't listen. And, Thalia,” I said, “you kind of drove us into a giant rock. I was too weak to steer us off of its path, and our boat sank. We're stranded in this bubble, and my strength is draining. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up . . .”
“I don't know what happened.” Thalia admitted. “Something came over me, and I couldn't stop. Oh, Willow, this is all my fault! What are we going to do?”
“I don't know.” I sighed. Thalia's voice sounded far away, and there was a ringing sound in my ears. My vision started to blur, and I could feel the water pooling in around us. “I'm so sorry.” I murmured, before my vision blacked, and I slumped backwards.



What did you think? That's just a little bit of chapter 1! Novel chapters are lengthy, though. I actually consider that a short novel chapter. This chapter is about half way done.
Back to top Go down
https://itsawritersworld.rpg-board.net
Thephantom

Thephantom


Posts : 14
Join date : 2011-03-08
Location : In the woods....

Children of the Elements: Book 2, Children of the Sun © Empty
PostSubject: Re: Children of the Elements: Book 2, Children of the Sun ©   Children of the Elements: Book 2, Children of the Sun © EmptyWed Mar 09, 2011 5:47 am

Awesome book PeggySnow!
There are one or two places where the same describing word is used twice in close succession, but thats the only thing I can find wrong!
Back to top Go down
PeggySnow
Admin
PeggySnow


Posts : 30
Join date : 2011-03-01
Age : 26
Location : Creeper...

Children of the Elements: Book 2, Children of the Sun © Empty
PostSubject: Re: Children of the Elements: Book 2, Children of the Sun ©   Children of the Elements: Book 2, Children of the Sun © EmptyThu Mar 10, 2011 3:19 pm

Thank you! Also, thanks for letting me know. Would you be able to tell me where, so that I may change it?
Back to top Go down
https://itsawritersworld.rpg-board.net
Sponsored content





Children of the Elements: Book 2, Children of the Sun © Empty
PostSubject: Re: Children of the Elements: Book 2, Children of the Sun ©   Children of the Elements: Book 2, Children of the Sun © Empty

Back to top Go down
 
Children of the Elements: Book 2, Children of the Sun ©
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Children of the Elements: Book 1 Children of the Water ©

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
It's a writer's world :: Writing :: To-be Published-
Jump to: